You guys, guess what?
I've found hard evidence that my soul may start to thaw in the coming days.
Please disregard the fact that on March 11th -- almost technically mid-March -- it is only supposed to be 3° above freezing. After the past three solid months of single digit temps I sure as hell am going to, because right now 35° is cause to break out the flip flops and throw some steaks on the BBQ.
If I could only find it.
But enough about the weather (for this week, at least). I know that I'm preaching to the choir to those of you from the middle of the country eastward, and for those of you from the middle of the country westward??
Here's what's making the Favorites' cut this week --
Settle down everyone, these teasers aren't titillating.
(I'm not quite sure what I meant by that, but for some reason when I typed the word "teasers" I thought you might think it was sexual in some way. Guess that tells you what kind of people I imagine you all to be.)
No, what I'm talking about are one sentence teasers from a few of the hilarious essays in the upcoming book I Just Want To Be Alone (available for PRE ORDER NOW!).
I told you last week that all the essays in the book are about the men in our lives and that my husband has demanded many favors for the submission and subsequent publication of the story I told about him. This might give you a small clue as to why:
Seriously, if you know him, the next time you see him just avert your eyes and do not mention anything having to do with dry sheets. And maybe buy the poor guy a beer for being such a good sport. I'm really proving to be quite testing to his marriage vows since I've discovered my writing...and my foil.
Did he really wet the bed, you're asking?? Maybe. But maybe not. You'll have to buy the book to find out.
And if for some reason you haven't already pre-ordered the book (like maybe because all of your fingers are broken or you have been dead), here's a few more that should peak your curiosity (and pity the rest of the husbands).
2. The Bachelor Finale Teaser!
Like I said on Facebook, there was a reason I didn't recap the "Women Tell All" episode this past week:
It was an hour and a half of snippy girls who I do not remember ever seeing on the show jumping on Andi's "you don't listen to me" bandwagon and complaining that he didn't try to have a relationship with them.
Huh. Call me crazy but I don't really think that when you only have 15 minutes alone with a guy before he's off to have 15 minutes with 27 other women you have anything close to a relationship.
And the set up for Andi to be the next Bachelorette was ridiculous in its obviousness.
Harrison: So, you believe this process can work?
Andi: Yes, absolutely I do.
Harrison: And you're ready to find love?
Andi: I'm ready. I'm hopeful. I'm working on suppressing my micro-managing skills as we speak!
But what was more interesting -- interesting to the point of me losing my mind with curiosity and anticipation for Monday night -- was the short preview.
What can possibly happen that we haven't seen before (as Harrison teases)?
We've already had a bachelor who didn't pick either girl (Womack) and have had a bachelor pick one and then change his mind (Mesnick), so what's Galavis going to do??
I'm going on the record with my prediction (so if it comes true I can say "aHA, who's the Bachelor whisperer now, bitch?"): I predict he says he needs more time. More time to see how they are with Camila without cameras. More time for swims in the warm ocean with both of them before having to fly solo. And so neither gets the ring, but both get a extra few weeks, and then on After The Final Rose he'll tell us who won.
And if I'm wrong? I'll still be the Bachelor whisperer.
This should go without saying, but if you know the outcome and spoil it in the comments?
3. Dinner Teaser!
As a rule, I hate frozen meals.
Unless it's Stouffer's lasagna. I freakin' love Stouffer's lasagna.
But about a month ago I discovered this Bertolli's frozen soup, and while I was skeptical, it was yet another below zero day and the thought of just popping this in a saucepan was too enticing to pass up.
And for frozen soup it's crazy good.
Get ready, here comes your teaser.
4. Blog News Teaser!
Stay tuned, because possibly as early as next week there'll be big news for YMFT. Like, big new news. Like, new location...new look...new exciting features kind of news!
So if you don't do well with change, you might want to take a screenshot of this page (at least the top of it) in the next few days.
I already have.
That'll do it for this week's FFs! Enjoy your weekend!
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And by "All Rights Reserved" I mean DON'T STEAL MY STUFF.